News to Amuse

Mexican Bus Drivers Demand Tips for the Ride From Hell:  Mexico City’s union of “Pesero” bus drivers are demanding tips for taking their riders on the ride of their lives.  Pesero bus drivers are renowned for serving up cheap thrills and dangerous spills.  In fact, the spread of American television has caused Mexico City’s youth to demand to “go to Disneyland.”  In response, Mexico City parents have duped their children into believing that the Pesero is in fact run by Mickey Mouse, and the kids are eating it up (until they die in a fiery crash).

Union leaders are demanding tips, in part to cover “driver training.”  Each Pesero driver must undergo a rigorous 50-hour training program, the last 2 minutes of which is the official Pesero driving test, in which the driver-to-be must kill at least one person to pass.

Disclaimer:  yadda yadda yadda.  I made this up.

But seriously.  Tips for being shitty?  Next thing you know, I’m supposed to tip the burger joint for giving me food poisoning and the chick from Supercuts for giving me a faux-hawk and the Metro for giving me whiplash.


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