Yes folks, miracles can surely happen. Last night and this morning, I got a seat on the Metro. I’ve already searched the Internet, and apparently Congress is in session, so I have no freaking idea how I got a seat. Two things to note.
Last night, I sat on one of the newer Metro trains. I noticed something about these new trains–they actually have advertisements on the ceiling! And then I put it all together. In order to generate additional revenue, the folks at WMATA decided to equip the ceiling with advertisements. And in order to entice businesses to purchase such advertising space, the Metro conductors have been instructed to make the ride as bumpy as hell so that enough passengers will fall to the ground, thereby getting exposed to the ads on the ceiling! It’s genius! I should write the WMATA a letter expressing my appreciation for thinking outside the box to increase income.
This morning, I also was the lucky beneficiary of a seat on the Metro. Let’s talk again about Metrotiquette. DO NOT wear nasty ass cologne if you will be anywhere near people. If you want to use cologne to cover up your scent of wet nasty dog, do it in the comfort of your home. Don’t cover yourself Mystic Tan style before getting on public transportation. I sat down next to this nasty man and lasted for one stop. Then, the gag reflex began to kick in, I did the cost-benefit analysis in my head, and concluded that standing up and bearing the bumpy ride would be less vomit-inducing than sitting next to Eau de make me Groan.