News to Amuse: The Flight from Hell

This is so not the mile-high club I wanted to be in: Gokhan Mutlu, of New York City, is suing JetBlue for damages in excess of $2 million. Mutlu alleges that a JetBlue pilot forced him to sit in the john for more than three hours during a cross-country flight from San Diego to New York. Mutlu boarded the flight on a “buddy pass,” which is a standby voucher that JetBlue employees can give to their friends and/or family. The flight was full, so Mutlu was given the jump seat. However, Mutlu claims, the pilot ordered him out of jump seat and into the poop seat. When the plane hit turbulence, Mutlu sat on the john, holding the handrails for support and praying that the fecal matter and piss in the toilet would stay in the toilet. Mutlu’s other damages include an inability to enter any restroom, forcing him to relieve himself in public places, which has caused him extreme embarrassment, especially when he took a big (and coincidentally quick) dump in front of the big screen at the opening of Speed Racer. Mutlu has also complained of damages to his olfactory system, as the entire world smells like the nasty hand soap they use in airplanes. Dude, that’s worth more than $2 million.

Disclaimer: read the article for the real story!


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Filed under News to Amuse, Travel, WTF?

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