Japanese bras go green: In a country where going “green” isn’t exactly first priority (check out the number of vending machines and you’ll know what I mean), Triumph International is seeking to change that image of Japan. In its newest release, Triumph has unveiled (haha) the solar-powered bra. I didn’t even make that shit up. Based on the pictures, the model wearing this bra kind of looks like a cross between a hooker, a beach volleyball player, and a suicide bomber. By strapping this baby on, the user can power a cell phone or an iPod. Moreover, the user can also drink from the pouches on her boobies, thereby reducing waste in the form of disposable bottles or cans.
This is from the same company that brought you the chopsticks bra and the ‘no shopping bag’ bra. Can you imagine going on a date with the solar-powered bra on? You’ve had a romantic dinner overlooking the ocean. You’ve talked about your dreams, your aspirations, your hopes for a better world. Your heart beats with excitement at this newfound person who you can imagine spending your life with. The two of you make footprints in the sand as you take a moonlit walk on the shore, holding hands and kissing along the way. You decide to invite him into your home for some wine and to “talk.” As the hour hand crosses past midnight, the mood becomes hot and steamy. He takes off your shirt, and BZZZZ, you just electrocuted your new dude. Damn. That’s a buzz kill if I’ve ever seen one.