Momma never taught me this: Lovers in Canada are lining up to participate in a new sex game called, “Stab me in the Heart, Biatch.” The rules are simple. The man professes his love. The woman takes a sharp knife and carves a heart-shaped symbol into the man’s chest. If the man survives, the love is pure. If the man dies, the love was not meant to be. In both cases, the participants are total and complete morons.
I would have expected better from my friends up north. I mean, I thought about moving there from 2004-2008 as a refugee from the politics of stupidity. They have universal health care. They have the Canadian Football League. They have washrooms and Stanley Park.
One bad apple . . .
(Celine Dion is Canadian — see what I did there with the title? That’s some good shit)