Monthly Archives: October 2008

RIP The Wonder Pup

Today sucks.  Mimi the wonder pup was put to sleep due to a congenital heart defect that caused the sudden onset of congestive heart failure.  Some of my favorite pics of Mimi:

I hate heart disease.  Poor little pup.  She’s in a better place now.

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Ron Livingston Urges You to Vote EARLY!

Ron Livingston, aka Peter Gibbons of Office Space, urges you to vote early for change.  With just a few days left to vote early (to free yourself to work for change on election day), now is the time to get up off your seat and make a difference.

If you can take the day off on election day, I urge you to do so.  The Obama campaign can surely use additional volunteers to monitor polls, make telephone calls etc.  Your assistance in this endeavor could make all the difference.  Besides, why would you want to go to work?  See Peter Gibbons and Co. in action to inspire you to take the day off and avoid this mental breakdown:

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Filed under Movies, Personal Pontification

Johnny Mac is Off His Rocker

For better or worse, I live in a battleground state and am constantly bombarded with political ads.  Having lived in California for most of my life, television ads for political candidates were something that I only heard about — ads only played in those other states where the population was not overwhelmingly progressive as in California.  I take it as a double-edged sword that I am now in a position to really change the state of the nation for the next four years.  Like many Americans, I watched the Obama 30-minute closing argument last night — a closing argument that, at times, sent goose bumps traveling down my arms.  Shortly after the closing argument aired, I saw this ad from the McCain camp:

Yes.  If you watched this ad, you’ll see that McCain now thinks that Obama is not ready . . . yet.

So let’s take a short trip through history to examine the McCain camp’s tactics against Senator Obama.  First, Johnny Mac attacked Obama on his lack of foreign policy experience.  That tactic soon expanded into an attack on all of Obama’s experience.  After adding the Moron to the ticket, attacks on experience quickly fell second to attacks on Obama’s “associations” and turning a blind eye toward attacks on Obama’s alleged Islamic faith and the color of his skin.  Once the Ayers attacks (and now the Khalidi attacks) fell short of expectations, Johnny Mac returned to attacking experience, going nearly full circle in strategy.  Except for one thing — Johnny Mac is now apparently stating that Obama will be a great President — just not now?

I don’t think it takes any specialized political strategy training to say, WTF?  THAT is your strategy?  To say that your opponent, who is leading in every poll, is not ready . . . YET?

Perhaps this is Johnny Mac’s way of getting back at the Moron for going off script during stump speeches.  Since insiders are claiming that the Moron is simply setting herself up for a run at the Presidency in 2012, Johnny Mac’s temper and vindictiveness has led him to sabotage his own pathetic campaign to make sure that the Moron can’t win in 2012.  According to Johnny Mac, if Obama is not ready yet, does that mean he’ll be ready in 2012?  Well, for sure he’ll be ready since he’ll have had 4 years sitting in the Oval Office, cleaning up the diarrhea bombs Dubya dropped all over the nation.  But seriously . . . from someone who has spent the last few months spreading dirty little lies about Obama and sending out mailers implying that Obama is a terrorist, it’s come down to this?  He’s not ready . . . YET?  Johnny Mac — you’re pathetic.

And on an unrelated note, congrats to the Philadelphia Phillies for winning the World Series . . . with a special congrats to UCLA alum Chase Utley and San Diego native Cole Hamels.  Way to represent Cali!!!

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Filed under Personal Pontification, WTF?

Vote, Says the Celebrity Orgy

Check out this new PSA, produced by Arnie Grape/Luke Brower aka Leo DiCaprio:

This video is like a celebrity buffet.  It would be incredibly wrong for me to write anything malicious about any of the celebrities in this video, given the context.  So why not write something fabulous about these people?

Leonardo DiCaprio — I really liked Growing Pains.  Luke was my second favorite character behind Boner.  With a name like Boner, you’re bound to be someone’s favorite.

Tom Cruise — He redeemed himself in Tropic Thunder.

Cameron Diaz — She went from Justin Timberlake to Kelly Slater.  Don’t hate the playa.  Hate the game.

Snoop Dogg — Who doesn’t like Snoop???

Harrison Ford — Mr. Jones!  Mr. Jones!  Whatever happened to that kid?

Julia Roberts — Star of one of the best movies of all time, Pretty Woman.

Ben Stiller — Genius behind Tropic Thunder.

Will Smith — Bad Boys.  Shirt unbuttoned.  Nuff said.

Steven Spielberg — ET phone home?

Justin Timberlake — FPOA

Sacha Baron Cohen as Borat — Hilarious!

Zach Braff — He stood in line behind me at LAX.  I stared at him, making pathetic attempts at avoiding eye contact.  He didn’t call the cops.  So I have to like him.

Colin Farrell — SWAT

Neil Patrick Harris — Funniest character in HIMYM

Scarlett Johansson — She’s married to Ryan Reynolds.  Like Diaz, don’t hate the playa.  Hate the game.

Shia LeBeouf — Wasn’t he in Transformers?

Tobey Maguire — I liked Spiderman; the original, anyways.

Ryan Reynolds — FPOA

Jason Segal — He was brave enough to show off his junk.  Listen to this man!

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DWTS — The Tragedy of the Group Hip Hop

Monday’s group hip hop routine was just laugh out loud hysterical.  I’ve watched it several times in glee — giggling at Lance’s faux-mullet, chuckling at that kid from Hannah Montana go left when he was supposed to go right, and downright falling over at that soap opera person’s pathetic half-step behind attempts to follow the crew.  If you’re not a fan of DWTS, I understand.  But this video is just hilarious:

Out of all the professional dancers, I have to say that Lacey kicked ass — which is no surprise given her tenure at SYTYCD.  Here are Lacey and Kameron dancing hip hop well (go to 2:30 for the good stuff).

And here are my favorite Lacey performances:

For years, I’ve had a secret dream of becoming a backup dancer for a major urban recording artist.  I realize that I have a bum knee; that I’m not flexible; that I am uncomfortable in skanky clothing; and that I just can’t really dance.  My resume would be slim, to say the least.  But if Sarah Palin can be VP, I can surely dance backup for Justin Timberlake.  Thank you Governor Palin for keeping my hope alive!

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Filed under I Heart Reality TV, SYTYCD, Television

Why Do Young People Flock to Obama?

As November 4th nears, I present to you one reason why young people flock to support Senator Obama:  He is in touch with the interests of the youth.

Case in Point No. 1:  The infamous “Fist Bump,” which, in this writer’s view, is simply a hipper way of giving the now archaic “high-five.”  Is “hipper” a cool word?  I’m too old to know.  In examining this picture, one can see how this fist bump is completely genuine — note that Senator Obama and the First Lady to Be are looking each other directly in the eyes, indicating that the two have been bumping fists for quite some time and have synchronized the critical timing and knuckle placement of the bump.  Imagine Johnny Mac bumping fists with Cindy McPill — call the doctor because I hear some bones breaking!

Case in Point No. 2:  Dusting dirt off his shoulders.  Nothing demonstrates a person’s determination and resilience than dusting dirt off your shoulders.  It’s one thing to say that Johnny Mac and the Moron’s campaign of lies will not stop you in your tracks — but to the younger generation, a couple simple swipes off the shoulder will more than suffice to convey those words.

Case in Point No. 3:  The Dance.  Barack Obama is not afraid to have a dance party — with the whole world watching.  Having watched Obama dance, I’m pretty confident he has no formal training.  As an avid follower of dance shows like SYTYCD and DWTS, Obama’s moves are a bit elementary.  He combines a mild sway with a gentle crossing of his arms.  Not too much going on there, but endearing to the youth of America — many of whom are also not blessed with the gyrating hips of Justin Timberlake.  I mean, for every Justin, there’s got to be 1,000 Jonathan Knights.  Michelle Obama, on the other hand — that lady looks like she’s got some moves.

To end, a brief lesson in logic — All (well, most) young people love Obama.  I am young (sort of).  I love Obama!

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Filed under I Heart Reality TV, Personal Pontification, SYTYCD

Song of the Week – I Voted!

In honor of my absentee vote this morning, this week’s song is “In the Waiting Line” by Zero 7.

Wait in line
Till your time
Ticking clock
Everyone stop

Everyone’s saying different things to me
Different things to me
Everyone’s saying different things to me
Different things to me

Do you believe
In what you see
There doesn’t seem to be anybody else who agrees with me

Do you believe
In what you see
Motionless wheel
Nothing is real
Wasting my time
In the waiting line
Do you believe in
What you see

Nine to five
Living lies
Everyday
Stealing time
Everyone’s taking everything they can
Everything they can
Everyone’s taking everything they can
Everything they can

Do you believe
In what you feel
It doesn’t seem to be anybody else who agrees with me

Do you believe
In what you see
Motionless wheel
Nothing is real
Wasting my time
In the waiting line
Do you believe
In what you see

And I’ll shout and I’ll scream
But I’d rather not be seen
And I’ll hide away for another day

Do you believe
In what you see
Motionless wheel
Nothing is real
Wasting my time
In the waiting line
Do you believe
In what you see

Everyone’s saying different things to me
Different things to me
Different things to me
Different things to me
Different things to me
Everyone’s taking everything they can
Everything they can

I waited in line today for a little over a half hour to vote.  To meet Virginia election requirements, I covered up the Obama buttons on my backpack with my jacket.  Waiting in line kind of sucked, but it did make me think that November 4 could be a serious pain in the ass for voting.  I’m imagining lines extending out the door and into the freezing fall air.  But, c’mon people — especially if you’re in a battleground state, think of how important it is for you to be able to have your voice be heard.  If that doesn’t work, think of something else you’d be willing to stay out in the cold for — think of November 4 as Black Friday and you’re waiting in line to get a $49 Blu-Ray player.  Or think of November 4 as the Super Bowl and you have a coveted 50-yard line ticket.  Or think of November 4 as the day you attend a Meet and Greet with Jonathan Knight or Justin Timberlake or Milo Ventimiglia or [insert your unhealthy infatuation].  Or think of November 4 as the day you meet Tina Fey and finally tell her in person that you would like to be discovered and whisked away from the doldrums of your professional legal career to enter the exciting world of television writing and comedy (Discover me, Tina Fey!).  I digress.  The point is, there must be something you’d wait in line for.  If exercising your right to vote is not sufficient incentive, then trick yourself into thinking of something else.

Unless you’re voting for Johnny Mac and the Moron.  In that case, waiting in line sucks.  And seriously, is your one vote going to count?  Go home and take the day off!

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Filed under Plea to Tina Fey, Song of the Week