Tina Fey appeared yet again last night on SNL. Being that I am at peace with my lack of “life,” as defined by the popular kids in school, I stayed home and amazingly stayed up late enough to catch Tina in all her immaculate glory. And boy, she did not disappoint. This performance has renewed my pleas to Tina Fey. I have now scoured the Internet for every known address of all T. Feys in Manhattan. I will pepper these addresses with letters and self-drawn portraits. Although I, by no means, am not, in any way shape or form, talented in the art of water colors, inclusion of such art will convey to Ms. Fey that I am more than willing to step out of my comfort zone for laughs. This morning, I made my first water color portrait, and it is ready for shipment. In examining such portrait, I will need to stress to Ms. Fey that, although the portrait may convey that I am psychotic and plan to carve out one of her eyes, it is not the case — I simply ran out of white watercolor and was forced to fill in one eye cavity with black, thereby making that eye look like Noah Bennet after he was shot in the face by Mohinder. I digress. Discover me, Tina Fey!
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