Monthly Archives: November 2008

Polebrity Crush: Where Politics and Celebrities Meet

I have a crush on the Emanuel brothers.  The Emanuel of politics looks like he could order a hit on your ass with just one look.  Plus, he’s got the whole Richard Gere in Pretty Woman salt n pepper hair thing going on.

Rahm in GQ

Rahn in Newsweek

Doesn’t he look like the type of guy who could simultaneously pet a litter of puppies while sending Jack Bauer to take out a militant with one flick on his finger?  Dude is muscle without the brawn.  Hot.

Ari Emanuel ain’t so bad himself, either:

Ari in Defamer

On the Hollywood side of life, Ari looks like he could extinguish your hopes for stardom with one snap of his fingers.  Ari, I’m a struggling and incredibly amateur writer.  I’m sure you have some time for a little philanthropy, don’t you?  Hook me up!

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My Slightly Uninformed Thoughts on the Potential Detroit Bailout

So to preface this post, I’d like to first state that I am not an economist.  I don’t purport to have knowledge of all salient facts regarding a potential Detroit bailout.  However, after absorbing as much publicly-available information as I could gather, I have come to a conclusion that puts me at odds with the party with which I most identify.

Granted, I don’t entirely understand the consequences that could occur should the Big 3 fail.  However, the Big 3 crisis does not appear to be as significant as the crisis that affected Wall Street generally.  I understand that may not ring well with those directly affected by a Big 3 bankruptcy, but here goes.  A few basic premises:

  1. Big 3 cars suck.  Yes, there’s a reason people buy foreign vehicles.  It’s not because they are “anti-American.”  It’s because, for years, the Big 3 have rested on their laurels that Americans would buy American for the sake of buying American.  Well, despite all the signs pointing against this foolish thought, the Big 3 continued to produce crappy vehicles with shitty performance, shitty reliability, and shitty safety standards.
  2. There has been no indication that the Big 3 executives will use bailout money to completely turn around their crappy product.  Here’s where I get hung up on the idea of giving the Big 3 any type of a bailout.  They’ve been ignoring signs for years.  They’ve lobbied heavily against innovation and environmentally-friendly standards.  Screw them.
  3. If the Big 3 were to fail, wouldn’t principles of capitalism suggest that another company, with better management and better product, would swoop in and take over the Big 3 infrastructure?  I have to think that an entrepreneurial entity would come in, take over Big 3 infrastructure, employ former Big 3 employees, and ultimately make a better product.

Ultimately, I don’t think the bailout will render the product made by the Big 3 fit to purchase.  After years of thinking something sucks ass, getting money from the federal government will not make great strides in reversing that general belief.

I’m now rambling and need more info.  In any event, with or without a bailout, I will never purchase a Big 3 vehicle.  After driving a rental Ford around all summer a few years ago, only to have a couple knobs fall off in the interim, there’s no way in hell I would purchase one of these clunky pieces of gas-guzzling pieces of crap.  That’s my two cents.

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Jonathan Looks Frightened

I missed this live performance last night, causing me to question my devotion to my Jonathan.  Forgive me Jon, for I was very much involved in a game of Wii bowling and the season finale of True Blood.  In my path to self-redemption, I immediately jumped on YouTube this morning to locate the highest quality video of the performance.

My Jonathan is so reliably uncomfortable on stage.  Look at how squeamish he appears on stage.  Notice how he watches the other “kids” for dance cues.  Jon, if you’d like, I will be happy to learn all the dance moves for this year’s tour and accompany you across the country and the world to assist you in your dance endeavors.  If you so grant me that privilege, you will have simultaneously made my 4th grade dreams manifest in all their glory.  My tube socks and scrunchie thank you in advance.

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Filed under Musical Obsessions, Television

RDJ: Salon’s Sexiest Man Living

I have to agree with Salon on this one.  While I do like me some Hugh Jackman (People’s pick), RDJ won my heart as Peter in Only You.  He also had one of the greatest monologues in movie history with his “Never go full retard” speech in Tropic Thunder.  And as for that whole cocaine and crack business?  Well, everybody makes mistakes.  But dude is still foine.  For the love of Fridays and RDJ, some pics for your viewing pleasure (and although I hate cigarettes, you can’t smell smoke through hot photographs):

RDJ is smoking . . . hot

RDJ Lounging

RDJ smoking hot again in Esquire

 

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My Love

Yeah yeah, it’s pretty shocking that I haven’t posted this video yet.  I’ve been waiting for Hulu or NBC to finally put the video online, but that wait was in vain, likely due to the “graphic” nature of this video.  I present to you yet another one of my musical, unhealthy obsessions:  Justin Timberlake.  In a leotard.  In heels.

My JT is damn confident in his masculinity.  And he sure as hell rocks that leotard.  He also works heels a hell of a lot better than me.  JT – can you teach me how to work them heels?

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Palin is a Complete Moron: Part XII

I’m almost at a baker’s dozen!  Oh dear Sarah . . . why must you make it so easy on me?  Check out this interview of the Moron.  Notice the two turkeys meeting their death behind the Moron, the latter of which can be seen kicking and convulsing as its head is likely chopped off in the guillotine.  Veggie turkey, anyone?

She’s “so thankful for the health and happiness” of her family.  And she will be preparing the turkey this year.  For someone who purportedly has aspirations of running for the presidency in 2012, the Moron really needs to stop drinking from the cup of stupid.  Shit, at this point, I’m convinced she actually has an ivy labeled “stupid” permanently attached to her arm.  I realize that shit like this might fly over well in Alaska, where a healthy portion of the population may raise their rifles in celebration at the public beheading of turkeys and where the popular drinking game may be taking a shot of Popov every time a moose dies a slow death after being maimed from a helicopter, but hell, I don’t know how this passes over in the rest of America.  Here in the mainland, we live blissfully in ignorance of the manner in which our annual turkey ends up on our plate.  Thanks for reminding us of the horrible death that befell the turkey leg on my plate.  I think I’m going to go heavy on the mashed potatoes this year.

Perhaps she’s just sending a message to Putin.  Hey Vladimir!  You see this turkey!  This is what Imma do to you if you enter our airspace!  So take that you little Russian bitch.  And when I’m done shoving your head in this guillotine, Imma drink yo vodka too!

That Sarah Palin.  Who wouldn’t want her in charge of our nukes?

Update:  You have to love the irony of the reporter asking about the “chopping block” at the same time as blood-splattered farmer shoves turkey No. 2 into the guillotine.

Update:  Further enjoy the fact that turkey No. 2 is convulsing while Palin states that she is “where [she] needs to be” to make the Thanksgiving turkey this year.

Further Update:  The Moron did this interview at “Triple D Farm and Hatchery.”  I shit you not.  I mean, doesn’t every former Miss Congeniality want to get Triple Ds?

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Song of the Week: The Show

I haven’t posted a song in a while, perhaps because my head has been firmly placed up my ass, and music just does not play up in the depths of that cavity . . . Anyways, I downloaded this song for free on iTunes quite a while ago, and I have to say that it might be the only free song of the week I have ever downloaded on iTunes that I actually enjoyed.  Lyrics and video:

I’m just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze, and love is a riddle
I don’t know where to go
Can’t do it alone
I’ve tried, but i don’t know why

Slow it down, make it stop
Or else my heart is going to pop
Cause it’s to much, yea it’s a lot
To be something I’m not

I’m a fool, out of love
Cause I just can’t get enough

I’m just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze, and love is a riddle
I don’t know where to go
Can’t do it alone
I’ve tried, but i don’t know why

I’m just a little girl lost in the moment
I’m so scared but i don’t show it
I can’t figure it out
It’s bringing me down
I know, I’ve got to let it go

And just enjoy the show

The sun is hot in the sky
Just like a giant spot light
The people follow the signs
And synchronize in time

It’s just, no body knows
They got to take it to the show
Yea

I’m just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze, and love is a riddle
I don’t know where to go
Can’t do it alone
I’ve tried, but i don’t know why

I’m just a little girl lost in the moment
I’m so scared but i don’t show it
I can’t figure it out
It’s bringing me down
I know, I’ve got to let it go

And just enjoy the show

Just enjoy the show
I’m just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze, and love is a riddle
I don’t know where to go
Can’t do it alone
I’ve tried, but i don’t know why

I’m just a little girl lost in the moment
I’m so scared but i don’t show it
I can’t figure it out
It’s bringing me down
I know, I’ve got to let it go

And just enjoy the show

Just enjoy the show(x2)

I want my money back(x3)

What a cute fuckin song, don’t you think?  Lenka, I feel you.  Life is a maze.  And frankly, I’m often lost, given my poor sense of direction and poor judgment.  I recited the chorus of this song to the Comcast customer service representative last week, when my Internet and phone service went out.  I tried to draw an analogy about how losing Internet and phone service is equivalent to being in a maze.  I then recited the “I want my money back” line several times.  I was met with silence.  Kiss my ass Comcast.

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