In last week’s episode of 30 Rock, Liz Lemon met Oprah Winfrey, which was an awesome opportunity. I’d also like to take the opportunity to make yet another plea to Tina Fey. Yo Tina. In case you’re reading, here are a few of my favorite things. None of these will appear in any rider to any contract for my services, so don’t worry about these before contacting me to join the writing cast. Wink Wink.
- Air purifier. Since I am allergic to everything indoors and out, I love my air purifier. It’s called the Rabbit, but it’s not the Rabbit that you’re thinking of. It makes me happy, but not like that Rabbit. You pervert.
- Peach Cobbler. I love peach cobbler. And this is an independent love and has nothing to do with the fact that Justin Timberlake’s favorite dessert is his grandmother’s peach cobbler. I loved peach cobbler first. So there.
- Jonathan Knight. I really would only need him once a year to sing Happy Birthday to me. To make it easier for him, I’d be fine with him sitting in a confined booth hooked up to a microphone such that he need not actually see anyone while he sings, lest he freaks out and messes up the words to my birthday song.
- Sneakers. I love sneakers. As someone who wore flip flops on her wedding day, I’m not terribly comfortable in heels. They make my bum knee hurt, and my toes get all squished up front, causing blisters and damage to my toenails. Don’t get me wrong though. If wearing heels will allow me to become a part of your crew, sign me up. I’ll eat and sleep in Jimmy Choos. And when I fall on my ass from the 3-inch heels and grimace in pain screaming bloody mary from breaking both ankles in multiple locations, I can continue to write in a wheelchair.
- Repression. Like any good Asian-American, repression is the greatest therapy. It doesn’t cost you a cent; you don’t need to take time out to hash over feelings with a shrink; and the occasional flashbacks of reality only temporarily make you want to off yourself. Hip hip hooray for repression!
- Tina Fey. Hey, do you think one of Oprah’s favorite things this year is Tina Fey? Holy crap! I need to get tickets to her show!
Discover me, Tina Fey!