A Glimpse into the Abyss

Yesterday, I was in Dallas for work, during which I watched a court reporter furiously take down terms such as “stank eye” and “SOL.”  While at Dallas Fort-Worth Airport, I saw the face of evil (and his little aide too!):

Face of Evil

I stood behind K-Rove on the jet bridge.  K-Rove and his little aide sat in business class, while I sat two rows behind at the front of coach.  I stared at the little wisps of hair floating on the back of his head, covering a brain that has been behind the demolition of our Constitution and destruction of American democratic ideals.  A little brain that accurately surmised that idiots in the country would vote for another four years of drinking Dubya-branded diarrhea tea, because of a flyer showing Dubya in front of a battered church with an unidentified baby.

Before the flight took off, and before the flight attendants made their “turn off electronic devices” announcement, I furiously texted friends of my newfound predicament.

I’M ON A PLANE WITH KARL ROVE.  SHOULD I TAKE HIM OUT?  HA HA.

I added the “Ha Ha” to prevent Big Brother Homeland Security from hopping on the plane and taking me out kicking and screaming under the guise of the Patriot Act.  I received multiple responses, including:

lol . . .

Oh crap!!!

Love it!  That is crazy

Yes

Seriously?!  Ha ha — Don’t waste the bullet; we slaughtered ’em on 11/04 anyway!

U should shit in his shoe since he shit all over our lives, then claim privilege

My friends are creative.  I did indeed think about shitting in his shoes, but I just didn’t have it in me, if you know what I mean.

Back to Karl Rove.  That man just exudes evil.  From his little beady eyes, to the creepy power-hungry aide he wants to bang, K-Rove almost scared the crap out of me.  (I say almost, otherwise I would have . . . well, see above).  Anger brewed inside of me, as I thought of various ways I could poison his American Airlines chocolate chip cookie. 

But then it dawned on me.  We won!  Yeah beyotch!  Take that!

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2 Comments

Filed under Legal Woes, Travel

2 responses to “A Glimpse into the Abyss

  1. achievementgap

    Alexis,

    I have thought about this long and hard and have come to the conclusion that you made the wrong choice. I guess this didn’t occur to you??

    1-Wait until a line forms for the bathroom in coach – providing an exuse to use the facilities in first.
    2-Feign a sudden stomach related illness.
    3-Dash from coach to first to avert a messy crisis.
    4-Regrettably, mid-dash, you fall and land on Mr. Rove’s wrinkly old neck while holding the American Airlines-provided knife which came with your meal.

    Sadly, you were unable devise this plan yourself, as it is clearly workable. Let’s try to do a better job next time, shall we?

    For real, get out? Karl Rove. Ooooooh, gross.

  2. Alas, if only I had your input at the scene of the potential crime.

    And yes, it was very gross. I brushed his arm at one point, and fearing the spread of inhumanity, I showered myself upon returning home.

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