The last time the CEOs of the Big 3 headed to Washington to plead for billions of dollars of government aid, each of the CEOs flew in private jets, incurring thousands of dollars. I mean, it’s kind of like Paris Hilton rolling up to the Food Bank in her Bentley and demanding caviar. Not cool, yo. At the time, the Big 3 defended their actions, stating that it was company policy, and was for the protection of the CEOs. Well, personally, prior to hearing news of the CEOs traveling H to the Izzo style, I had no idea what the hell they even looked like. If I saw them on a plane, sitting in first class, I wouldn’t even take a second look, so I’m not sure what the “safety” concerns were. Now, however, their images have been burned into my head, and if I do see them, I’ll give them a piece of my mind. And it ain’t pretty up there. This bitch has a lot to say, and I’m sure I’m going to make like a chihuahua and bark at them like crazy, letting them know that I’d shove my fist up their assholes if it wasn’t for the first class/coach curtain divider. Watch out bitches!
Anyways, I digress. This time, however, the CEOs have instead traveled to Washington in hybrid vehicles. I’m in disbelief that they actually arrived. I mean, would anyone have been horribly shocked if the shitty vehicles broke down mid-trip? I wouldn’t. But check out the wheels of Chrysler CEO Bob Nardelli:
Picture from CNN
According to CNN, this fuel “efficient” vehicle gets 22 highway, and 20 city. My little Acura gets far better gas mileage than this beast. And this beast of a vehicle surely doesn’t go very far in supporting the Big 3 contention that manufacturers will be making smaller, highly innovative vehicles. This looks like the same piece of shit that’s been coming out of Detroit for the last couple of decades.
Here’s a thought. Maybe the CEOs should have traveled to DC in Ford Pintos. With every mile closer to their destination, there is one less mile in which they may blow up in a fiery ball of shitty American-designed vehicle. It’ll remind them of the benefits of innovation, while simultaneously reminding them of how taking shortcuts to improve gas mileage led to the death and maiming of scores of helpless Americans.