Tis the Season for . . . Pedophiles?

Well, it’s that time of the year again.  Where hoards of people inundate the malls in a mad rush of shopping and presumably holiday cheer.  It’s also the time where parents take their children to the mall to visit Santa Claus, an event that may bring extreme fear to many a toddler.  I never believed in Santa Claus.  By immediately debunking any semblance of a fat man tumbling down billions of chimneys all over the world, my family effectively quelled any expectation of presents.

Which was fine for me, given the fact that I believed that Santa was right up there with clowns — strange men dressed up in costume who should be approached with skepticism.  I mean, think about it.  Really think about it.  What motivations lie behind the man who seeks to hide behind a mask and spend his days with children on his lap or with children playing with his “balloons?”  I suppose it’s purely a monetary motivation, and that would actually bring me comfort.  However, I’m certain that there are other jobs that pay more and don’t require a ridiculous costume.  Course, those jobs don’t include the “perk” of being “exposed” to hundreds of children, jumping happily in one’s arms.

Yeah yeah, so I’m a cynic.  Santas and Clowns just really like being around children because they like children, in a completely innocent way.  Sure.  But my guess is that you’ll think twice next time your kid is bouncing on Santa’s lap, as he lets out a big “Ho, Ho, Ho,” while he basically molests your kid with his white-gloved encased fingers of pedophilic lust.

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Filed under Life, Personal Pontification

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