Cherry Poppin’ Sugar Daddies

A San Diego woman who is auctioning off her virginity online now has bids at $5.6 million.  Natalie Dylan (a pseudonym), a 22-year old college student, began the auction as a way to obtain money to pay for further education.  Dylan hopes to earn a master’s degree in — wait for it — marriage and family therapy.

This got me thinking . . . I had considered auctioning off our apartment to the highest bidder for the inauguration.  As I started thinking about the economics of it all, I realized that I wouldn’t want to charge too little — because that would increase the odds of the renters looting our place.  Yet, at the same time, if a particular renter would agree to pay an exorbitant amount of money, I wouldn’t want that person in my place, since that person lacks common sense and is otherwise crazy.

So I wonder if Dylan is thinking this.  She wouldn’t want to auction her virginity off for something like $100, because that would just be pathetic and every drunk frat boy would be “banging” her door down.  But then again — $5.6 million???  Whoever submitted that bid must be crazy!  I bet he has a room in his house dedicated to the thrill of poppin the cherry — with walls painted blood red and cutouts of Baby One More Time Brit Brit plastered on the door.  This guy probably goes around asking everyone to call him Daddy or Papi.



Filed under News to Amuse

2 responses to “Cherry Poppin’ Sugar Daddies

  1. Well, she can do whatever she wants. I certainly don’t care. But… having read this, I somehow thought back of the 1993 movie “Indecent Proposal”. And I would certainly have preferred Demi above Nathalie. Not only was Demi more beautiful (and experienced, compared to an inexperienced virgin), she was also less expensive!

  2. seriously — i don’t quite understand why men would pay a premium for someone who doesn’t know what she’s doing and will probably be thinking that the whole experience sucks. i thought men pay hookers to pretend to like them (and sex of course).

    it’s like paying to listen to an orchestra playing mozart’s concerto no. 9 and instead getting a 5-year old’s rendition of chopsticks.

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