My hubby bought me a new iPod yesterday. To be precise, I may have ordered it on my own accord with my hubby’s credit card, but since we’re married, that’s just semantics.
In honor of this new iPod and this Day Seven of my 10 Days for Tina Fey series, I’d like to reveal a few of the beloved songs on my iPod, as I believe that this will allow Tina Fey to obtain an accurate glimpse into my lovable but deranged psyche.
- Push It by Salt-N-Pepa — This classic song quite literally symbolized my adolescence. In retrospect, I realize that the phrase “push it” was meant by Salt and Pepa to have a sexual connotation, but being the total and complete nerd that I was growing up, I believed that “push it” meant to push myself in my academic endeavors. So before my Spanish test when I had to learn immensely helpful phrases like “I go to the library” and “I have a pencil in the bathroom,” I would psych myself up for said test by pumping myself to the beat of “Push It.” Did I ace that test? Hell yeah. Voy a la biblioteca. Tengo un lapiz en el bano.
- I Have Nothing by Whitney Houston — Ok, so I don’t actually like this song that much. But it’s on this list because, there was a time in my life when I believed that I could be a professional singer. Speaking hypothetically, it may be possible that a certain pre-teen listened to her own rendition of this song while she sang in the shower (complete with her own vocal runs), decided that she sounded remarkably like Whitney Houston, and decided to record herself only to learn upon playback that her rendition actually sounded more like cats and raccoons skinning each other alive. Every so often, when this hypothetical person has delusions of vocal grandeur, said hypothetical person may listen to this song to make a quick return to reality. Where is this hypothetical recording, you ask? Let’s just say it’s been hypothetically destroyed.
- Drop it Like It’s Hot by Snoop Dog — At a later point in my adolescence, I believed that I could be a dancer. As college and law school eventually consumed my life, I remember hearing this song and believing that perhaps my introduction into the dance world would come through mastery of “dropping it like it’s hot.” However, my efforts at perfecting this move were thwarted by internal conflict. On the one hand, I knew that dropping it like it’s hot would require me to nearly touch the ground squarely with both buttocks, and then bouncing said buttocks on the ground in a jiggly fashion. Yet, on the other hand, I knew that one should avoid any squats in which knees are positioned in front of toes, as this causes extreme stress on your knee joints. Sigh. If only I was ignorant of the latter fact, I perhaps would not be making pleas to Tina Fey but instead would be combing the streets of Long Beach for Snoop Dog.
I may have just engaged in an overshare. Oh well. A glimpse into just 3 songs on my iPod gives Tina Fey all the information she needs.
Discover me, Tina Fey!