10 Days for Tina Fey — Day Nine

I have now come to the unfortunate realization that I (technically) have one day remaining in my 10 Days for Tina Fey series, and I have yet to hear from Tina Fey, anyone associated with Tina Fey, or even any cruel individuals posing as Tina Fey.  So, given that the Super Bowl will be airing this Sunday, I figured that I would need to elevate my pleas to a never-before-seen level.

I’m sure everyone has heard of the PETA commercial that has been banned by NBC for the Super Bowl.  If not, check it out at http://www.peta.org or below:

Inspired by this commercial, and hoping that perhaps a 30-second slot is still open in this flailing economy, I filmed my own spot for the Super Bowl.  I’m hoping to get playtime immediately after kickoff or right before the half, but I’m not sure whether my hubby and I have the funds to get this prime airtime, even in a post-Dubya economy.  Especially in light of the fact that my hubby is concerned about me even more publicly declaring my so-called “unhealthy” obsession with working for Tina Fey.  Way to be supportive hubby.  Thanks.

In the event my commercial does not air, perhaps a visual description will do it some justice.  Essentially, I gathered a few DVDs (Mean Girls, 30 Rock, Baby Mama), my script, my glasses (which could be called Tina Fey glasses), and a full-size cutout of the moron named Sarah Palin.  For wardrobe, I put on my best pair of “mom jeans” . . . and nothing else.  I then played some sexy time music (aka I Wanna Sex You Up by Color Me Badd) and then, like any great comedian, I just winged it.

I would go into more depth, but I’m not sure anyone will ever want to play my Mean Girls DVD again if I reveal what I did.  Upon watching my video, I realized that some of the shit I did just wasn’t right.  Especially that thing I did with my glasses and the Palin cutout — yikes.  And licking my script was not a good idea.  My tongue still hurts from all the paper cuts and the puncture wound from the loose staple.

I have two days to make the pitch to NBC and to be disowned by my parents.

Discover me, Tina Fey!


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