The other day, I saw a commercial for a Web site, onlinebootycall.com. At first glance, it appeared to me that the commercial was simply part of a repeat SNL episode. I was fully expecting to see perhaps another rerun of the Mom Jeans skit by Tina Fey, or maybe Justin’s impersonation of Jessica Simpson.
Upon further investigation, I realized that this site is totally legit — legit in the sense that the site exists. According to the Web site, onlinebootycall.com is a “Dating Site for Singles Who Enjoy Being Single.” Give it up for the appropriate use of “who” in that tagline! On the site, there are multiple options for locating the booty. There are “quick search” for booty, “invite booty,” “rate booty,” and “top ten” booty search options. You can also create your own “bootycall list” complete with “current booty,” “pending booty” and “online booty.”
I took the liberty of running a quick and expansive booty search, entering both searches of men seeking women and women seeking men, with ages from 18-99 (no need to discriminate against young or old booty!). Boy, were the results interesting!. The men appeared as I thought they would — kind of gross and creepy in a I hope my mother is not looking over my shoulder as I check out this Web site. Similarly, the women also appeared as I thought they would — extremely slutty and whorish in a I hope my mother is not looking over my shoulder and wondering if I have shamed my family name for the last time.
In the Web site’s “terms and conditions,” the company is quick to state that the site is “NOT an adult site and does NOT contain pornographic material.” . . . Gee, what would give you that impression? As I continued to investigate this Web site, I began to wonder about a couple of things.
First, I’m inclined to believe that a good 90% or so of the bootycall members (including both active and nonactive hunters of booty) are men. Now if most of these men aren’t gay, then I suppose the Web site has a bit of a problem with keeping its members satisfied, so to speak. Of course, I suppose you could say that the female booty hunters simply benefit from this arrangement, as the Web site offers a virtual buffet of male anatomy to choose from. And I guess this isn’t different from many of the clubs and bars I went to in college and law school — as these consisted largely of groups of women who had no intention of giving up the booty, along with large hoards of men who were on the hunt for booty, armed with vodka and cranberry as ammo.
Second, how is this Web site different from Craigslist? Aside from the obvious in that Craigslist provides a valuable service for the masses (e.g. “free crappy sofa!” and “who wants my CD cases?”), and that the Craigslist Web site has far simpler graphics than that of onlinebootycall, Craigslist does have a bit of a reputation for being used as an online marketplace for booty calls (and paid booty calls, if you know what I mean). Speaking of which, if you are indeed trying to sell your booty on Craigslist, you’re not really tricking the authorities (haha at use of trick) when your post reads something like, “Will do ANYTHING for 50 roses.”
I digress. Anyways, this post has absolutely nothing to do with Tina Fey and 30 Rock. In fact, any purported link is so tenuous that I can’t even attempt to draw a connection as it would be transparently pathetic and strained. So I won’t try to say something like, “Tina, you should place this Web site on the blocked list to prevent Alice from stumbling upon it.” Or, “Tina, you and the hubby should visit this site for the pure entertainment value.” I won’t do anything like that. Because that’s pathetic, and since I’m on day 10 of my 10 More Days for Tina Fey series, pathetic — I am not.
Discover me, Tina Fey!