10 Days for NPH — Day One

When I began my 10 Days for Tina Fey series, I was hoping, in fact praying, that my efforts would lead to Tina Fey acknowledging my existence, leading to a position on her writing team, a contract to be an executive producer of my own series, development of my own highly successful series and spin-offs, along with a slew of professional accolades, and culminating in the hubby and me retiring on a beach in Santa Barbara sipping sweet tea vodka as we watched the sunset every day from our ocean-front mansion.

Well, I haven’t heard from Tina Fey yet, so I have decided to turn my attention to NPH, aka Neil Patrick Harris.  As I child, I enjoyed watching NPH’s adventures as the precocious Doogie Howser, M.D.  During the show’s heyday, I recall repeatedly requesting that my parents purchase a computer, so that I too could log my thoughts and intuitions into digital immortality.  That never happened, so I was resigned to tapping my fingers erratically on a pillow, as I spoke my theories of youth and self-realization.

NPH has since evolved into a comedic genius.  His outrageous cameo in Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle was merely the tip of the iceberg.  On How I Met Your Mother, NPH plays Barney Stinson, a womanizing bro with a soft spot for true friendship.  

So NPH.  Hear my pleas.  I have now completed a script for How I Met Your Mother.  The storyline for my script has come and gone on the show, but I don’t care.  And neither will you when you reach the climax of my script and scream, “Eureka!”  And once you finish reading my script, you will channel your inner Doogie Howser, get onto your blue-screened computer, and write an email to me at alexis.nectar [at] gmail.com, in which you state:

Alexis Nectar,

I have read your script, and it tastes like sweet nectar from the heavens.  I shall call you Manna.  When can you start?


Oh, and before I forget.  NPH, if you’re reading this, I have a friend who totally wants to make out with you.  I realize that you’re gay, but I don’t think she cares so much, so long as you don’t care.

Discover me, Tina Fey NPH!



Filed under Plea to NPH, Plea to Tina Fey

3 responses to “10 Days for NPH — Day One

  1. Alexis Nectar's Friend

    Neil, if it helps the cause any, I’m willing to make out with David, too.

  2. Fae

    I have no idea how I found this post but I’m glad I stumbled across this! This whole post had me cracking up and the comment at the bottom…icing on the cake =D

    Good luck!

    • Many many thanks for the comment, Fae. If you know anyone who might know anyone who might (1) do NPH’s dry cleaning; or (2) cut NPH’s hair, you can aid and abet my efforts at stalking NPH!

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