Tag Archives: amy poehler

10 Days for Tina Fey – Day Ten

Today is day ten of my 10 Days for Tina Fey series.  On this final day of my series, I regret to inform my six readers (7 including my hubby – thanks hubby!) that Tina Fey has not yet contacted me.  I also failed to procure commercial time during last night’s Super Bowl, so perhaps I only have myself to blame for Ms. Fey’s ignorance of my existence.  Although, in retrospect, I suppose it might be a good thing that my commercial did not air as even my hubby was kind of grossed out by my unique movements, as evidenced by his utterances of “Oh god” and “What the hell is that?”

I suppose I should first congratulate the Pittsburgh Steelers for winning the Super Bowl.  It was a rather exciting game, but I must admit that I spent the game playing Pictionary Man (badly) and doing a read-through of my spec script with the hubby, AG, and ML.  Thankfully, my friends and my hubby laughed at the script, although I suppose I can never be sure if the laughter is from the comedic value of the script or is instead from the comedic value of my pathetic attempt (you can never know with lawyers).

In what technically is my last plea to Tina Fey, I figured that perhaps Tina Fey would like to know the sources of my inspiration.  Or, put into the words of some of my friends, what is it that makes my brain work in such a mysterious and often inappropriate way?

  • My childhood — Growing up as the youngest child in an immigrant family, my life was just hilarious.  Did you know that, just like in English, there are multiple ways to say “dumb-ass” in Mandarin Chinese, but in Chinese, “dumb-ass” really sounds like “dumb-ass?”  Were you aware that the spirits of dead ancestors always know if you achieve only an “A-” or take on a useless minor in college like philosophy?  Or that you can buy hundreds of items in Chinatown that will prevent any inch of your skin coming into direct contact with sunlight?
  • My job — The law is a comedic minefield.  Or maybe that’s just me.  There was that one meeting during which I fell over laughing and recovered only to find that everyone was just staring at me as if I was inappropriate or something.  Whatever.
  • My friends — At last count, I have 94 friends on Facebook.  Frankly, I never thought I would even achieve 50 friends, but I suppose I should have kept that pathetic fact to myself.  Anyways, my friends are great sources of comedic material and also great at providing constructive criticism where appropriate.  My hubby, for example, will yank out a hair when I tell a bad joke.  For those of you who saw me in the summer of ’07, you’ll know that I was not particularly funny that year.
  • Tina Fey — But of course!  In fact, Tina Fey is such the inspiration, that I’ve already begun preparing this year’s Halloween costume.  I plan to be “Tina Fey as Amy Poehler doing the Palin rap in Alaskan mom jeans.”  Yeah, my hubby thinks it can’t be done either.  Always the downer, he asked me the other day, “How do you fit mom jeans around an 8-month womb?”  Whatever.

My script is complete and ready to be produced!  Discover me, Tina Fey!


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Palin Has Rhythm? You Don’t Say!

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Governor Palin appeared on Weekend Update on last night’s SNL, giving the country a definitive visual of the nation’s most popular MILF raising the roof.  I take my proverbial hat off to Governor Palin, who apparently has a greater sense of humor than I would have anticipated.  Of course, understanding mockery requires some modicum of intelligence, so she may have just been following the teleprompter when it said, “RAISE THE ROOF BITCH.”  I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt though.

And give it up to Amy Poehler, one hell of a future baby mama.  When that baby pops out, s/he’s going to be fierce!

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Homage to Tina Fey

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In what promises to be the first of a series of skits demonstrating the asinine nature of the nomination of Sarah Palin, please find my comedic idol’s return to SNL.

This skit has reinvigorated my attempt to locate Tina Fey and use my powers of gentle persuasion (aka hypnosis) to become part of her inner circle.  As detailed in prior postings, I have already begun my search for Ms. Fey.  However, the seach has thus far come up empty.  I now realize that the passing moments in a day that I devote to this endeavor simply will not rise to the level required to accomplish this gargantuan task.  I must eat, drink, and sleep the meeting with Tina Fey.

I must make like Merrill Lynch and convince Tina Fey to acquire me in a multi-billion dollar acquisition.  In fact, if you’re reading this–I’ll take less than Merrill Lynch.  I don’t need $50 billion.  I don’t even need $1 billion (although if you want to give that to me, hell yeah!).  Just give me the call and I will pack up my desk to plant myself wherever you wish.  Discover me Tina Fey!

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Filed under Personal Pontification, Plea to Tina Fey