According to all the major news outlets, including the prestigious TMZ, apparently it’s not just Wall Street and the auto industry that is in dire need of a bailout. The folks from the San Fernando Valley are also seeking governmental assistance. Everyone needs a little porn, right?
Legendary Hustler entrepreneur Larry Flynt, and the idiot named Joe Francis, are apparently making pleas to Congress to obtain a $5 billion check to stimulate the porn industry. Flynt and Francis allege that the recession has hit the business hard, as DVD sales of XXX movies have bottomed out, falling 22%. On a serious note, such claims are a surprise to many economists — traditionally, businesses such as the porn industry stay above recessions, riding the recession wave because of the increase in “staycations” and a general desire to get away from reality and immerse oneself in the warmth provided by pornography. Francis himself plans on appearing before Congress to make his plea, during which he will argue that the bailout will prevent the pornography industry from going limp, and will also boost the vigor of the American appetite for entertainment.
CSPAN viewership will certainly be up for these hearings. Personally, I hope Congress rips Francis a new one. That kid belongs in a prison shower with a bar of really slippery soap and a mob of pissed off inmates.
And yes, the aforementioned puns were intended.