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As many people know, Senator McCain appeared on The Tonight Show last night. Among other things, Leno asked Johnny Mac whether the Moron was a drag on the ticket. After discussing the First Dude’s snowmobile exploits, Johnny Mac states his belief that the Moron was a great candidate. Go to about 28:00. Then watch his left eye.
Yeah. That was a twitch. A twitch seen round the world. It’s taking all of Johnny Mac’s willpower to avoid stating the obvious. Why the hell did I let them force me to run with that idiot! I was demolished in the general election because my running mate didn’t know that Africa was a continent! God damn it. I hope Caribou Barbie dresses up like a moose and runs around the open fields of Alaska while drunk hunters board several helicopters to go search for a quick kill.
The hubby and I were poll monitoring in Sterling, Virginia. Not exactly Obama-friendly territory. But the numbers have come in: 869 votes for Obama (53.05%) and 740 votes for McCain (45.17%)!
Frankly, I am shocked. Standing in the cold and rain from 6:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m., it seemed like an overwhelming majority of the voters were GOP supporters. Hell, voters surely took more GOP sample ballots than Democratic sample ballots. The hubby and I were still happy to be there to at least have a deterrent effect on any improprieties that could have been committed against any voter at that precinct.
The reverse Bradley effect seems to have been in full force in Sterling, Virginia. “Sure, I’ll take a GOP sample ballot . . . and then I’ll vote the complete opposite . . .”
Image from http://www.barackobama.com
Barack and Joe – you’re welcome. Glad to help!
A few thoughts from BFF:
Tonight I had the honor and privilege of watching the presidential election results at a campaign office for a local African-American candidate in Los Angeles. The office was located in South Los Angeles, and for those of you who are unfamiliar with the geography of this city, the area is more notoriously known as “South Central Los Angeles” – the site of the devastating riots in the early 1990s. Forgive me for the cliche, however it was really a night that will forever be ingrained in my memory.
As we watched Barack Obama’s electoral tally creep up to 270, you could sense the anticipation and tension in the room growing. People were mesmerized by the possibility that an African-American could be the leader of the free world. When he blew past 270, I finally came to realize what this election meant. This was not about economic stimulus plans or smoking out caves in Afghanistan or what defines a maverick. As a child of refugees who has lived a relatively comfortable life, I was humbled by what I saw. Grown men and women – who endured that “separate but equal” society for decades – dropped to their knees in joy and disbelief. Their tears were uncontrollable. Their hope insurmountable. Strangers of all ethnicities hugged and kissed each other like they had known each other for years. I even had a 300-lb African-American male pick me up and almost suffocate me in a bear hug. No joke, these are things you just don’t see in Los Angeles. This was my civil rights lesson.
To me though, the most moving moment of this night came from a conversation I overhead amidst all the festivities. A small boy, maybe 5 years old, said to his father, “He’s like me.” We just elected a man of mixed heritage, raised by a single mother, from a poor background, with no “royal” American lineage to be President of the United States.
And to you Sarah Palin, you should choose your words more carefully. Yes, you just got beat by a community organizer.
Calling Obama a terrorist didn’t work. Implying he was a Muslim didn’t work. Questioning his patriotism didn’t work. And not only did they not work, they REALLY did not work. Last night’s election was a trouncing of epic proportions. Like when the 49ers beat the Broncos 55-10 in Super Bowl XXIV. Or when the Rockies were swept from the World Series last year. It was not even a race. It was a demolition.
Every pundit will tell you that Johnny Mac’s major roadblock was Dubya. That Dubya presented as a nearly insurmountable boulder in Johnny Mac’s path to victory. So Johnny Mac decided to take on a two-prong strategy: (1) he holds conservative ideals, such as interwining religion in government, just like Dubya; and (2) he is a Maverick who is not like Dubya.
After spending months on the campaign trail proclaiming that he is a “Maverick,” and having the little moron echo such sentiments by creating words such as “mavericky,” Johnny Mac should have tried something else. Why didn’t Johnny Mac call Dubya the Maverick? That Dubya abandoned the principles of the Republican Party and caused this country to spiral downwards into a religious governmental hell? He intimated these points toward the end of his campaign — that the Republican party in power had forgotten about fiscal responsibility etc. But Johnny Mac should have gone further. Instead of adopting the Maverick platform, he should have declared that Dubya had gone completely rogue. That voices were speaking to Dubya from the little plastic horse on Dubya’s Oval Office desk. That Johnny Mac would simply return the Republican party back into office and that Dubya was getting all mavericky and shit.
On a different note, what the hell am I going to write about now that the election is over? And what about my friends Rachel Maddow, Jon Stewart, and Stephen Colbert? Can you make comedy out of hope? Damn it! I have nothing to ridicule!!!
For better or worse, I live in a battleground state and am constantly bombarded with political ads. Having lived in California for most of my life, television ads for political candidates were something that I only heard about — ads only played in those other states where the population was not overwhelmingly progressive as in California. I take it as a double-edged sword that I am now in a position to really change the state of the nation for the next four years. Like many Americans, I watched the Obama 30-minute closing argument last night — a closing argument that, at times, sent goose bumps traveling down my arms. Shortly after the closing argument aired, I saw this ad from the McCain camp:
Yes. If you watched this ad, you’ll see that McCain now thinks that Obama is not ready . . . yet.
So let’s take a short trip through history to examine the McCain camp’s tactics against Senator Obama. First, Johnny Mac attacked Obama on his lack of foreign policy experience. That tactic soon expanded into an attack on all of Obama’s experience. After adding the Moron to the ticket, attacks on experience quickly fell second to attacks on Obama’s “associations” and turning a blind eye toward attacks on Obama’s alleged Islamic faith and the color of his skin. Once the Ayers attacks (and now the Khalidi attacks) fell short of expectations, Johnny Mac returned to attacking experience, going nearly full circle in strategy. Except for one thing — Johnny Mac is now apparently stating that Obama will be a great President — just not now?
I don’t think it takes any specialized political strategy training to say, WTF? THAT is your strategy? To say that your opponent, who is leading in every poll, is not ready . . . YET?
Perhaps this is Johnny Mac’s way of getting back at the Moron for going off script during stump speeches. Since insiders are claiming that the Moron is simply setting herself up for a run at the Presidency in 2012, Johnny Mac’s temper and vindictiveness has led him to sabotage his own pathetic campaign to make sure that the Moron can’t win in 2012. According to Johnny Mac, if Obama is not ready yet, does that mean he’ll be ready in 2012? Well, for sure he’ll be ready since he’ll have had 4 years sitting in the Oval Office, cleaning up the diarrhea bombs Dubya dropped all over the nation. But seriously . . . from someone who has spent the last few months spreading dirty little lies about Obama and sending out mailers implying that Obama is a terrorist, it’s come down to this? He’s not ready . . . YET? Johnny Mac — you’re pathetic.
And on an unrelated note, congrats to the Philadelphia Phillies for winning the World Series . . . with a special congrats to UCLA alum Chase Utley and San Diego native Cole Hamels. Way to represent Cali!!!
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In this week’s Plea to Tina Fey, I present to you Ms. Fey’s latest SNL appearance as top moron, Governor Palin. In watching this newest appearance, with Tina Fey hiking up her skirt, I have discovered yet another task I could perform for Ms. Fey. Personal trainer. Although Tina Fey has, at times, engaged in self-deprecation with respect to her figure and her proclivity for the consumption of donuts, I’m sure most would admit that Ms. Fey is one hot mama. I don’t know whether Tina Fey has a personal trainer or, if she has one, how much that trainer costs. I do know one thing. Although my physiology, kinesiology, and biology training is limited to a few classes in high school and a microbiology class in college where I learned about hemmorhoids; and my fitness knowledge originated from Billy Blanks, I could be of great assistance to Ms. Fey — and I would be virtually free. Because unlike other personal trainers who enjoy their jobs, I don’t enjoy my job. So, in training Ms. Fey, I can draw on years of discontentment and frustration to whip her in shape. I will put Tina Fey on a heavy bag and cover that bag with pictures of the people who piss her off, including me, her personal trainer, as I will be screaming at her to hit me in the face even harder.
And best of all, in between sets, I could ask Tina whether she thinks I should go to Chicago to train in improv. Or maybe Tina could read my manuscript. Or maybe we could braid each other’s hair. Ooo, or trade dirty librarian eyeglasses. Discover me, Tina Fey!
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I possess the powers of Hiro Nakamura. I traveled to the future and obtained this video, which shows just what will happen if I don’t vote this year. So come on people, don’t forget to vote! I’ll probably vote this weekend via absentee ballot, since I’ll be working the polls in the freezing cold on the 4th. If I can stand outside and withstand blistering winds for 15 hours, you can go stand in line for a half hour. So VOTE!