Tag Archives: jonathan knight

Jonathan Looks Frightened

I missed this live performance last night, causing me to question my devotion to my Jonathan.  Forgive me Jon, for I was very much involved in a game of Wii bowling and the season finale of True Blood.  In my path to self-redemption, I immediately jumped on YouTube this morning to locate the highest quality video of the performance.

My Jonathan is so reliably uncomfortable on stage.  Look at how squeamish he appears on stage.  Notice how he watches the other “kids” for dance cues.  Jon, if you’d like, I will be happy to learn all the dance moves for this year’s tour and accompany you across the country and the world to assist you in your dance endeavors.  If you so grant me that privilege, you will have simultaneously made my 4th grade dreams manifest in all their glory.  My tube socks and scrunchie thank you in advance.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Musical Obsessions, Television

30 Rock: Believe in the Stars

In last week’s episode of 30 Rock, Liz Lemon met Oprah Winfrey, which was an awesome opportunity.  I’d also like to take the opportunity to make yet another plea to Tina Fey.  Yo Tina.  In case you’re reading, here are a few of my favorite things.  None of these will appear in any rider to any contract for my services, so don’t worry about these before contacting me to join the writing cast.  Wink Wink.

  1. Air purifier.  Since I am allergic to everything indoors and out, I love my air purifier.  It’s called the Rabbit, but it’s not the Rabbit that you’re thinking of.  It makes me happy, but not like that Rabbit.  You pervert.
  2. Peach Cobbler.  I love peach cobbler.  And this is an independent love and has nothing to do with the fact that Justin Timberlake’s favorite dessert is his grandmother’s peach cobbler.  I loved peach cobbler first.  So there.
  3. Jonathan Knight.  I really would only need him once a year to sing Happy Birthday to me.  To make it easier for him, I’d be fine with him sitting in a confined booth hooked up to a microphone such that he need not actually see anyone while he sings, lest he freaks out and messes up the words to my birthday song.
  4. Sneakers.  I love sneakers.  As someone who wore flip flops on her wedding day, I’m not terribly comfortable in heels.  They make my bum knee hurt, and my toes get all squished up front, causing blisters and damage to my toenails.  Don’t get me wrong though.  If wearing heels will allow me to become a part of your crew, sign me up.  I’ll eat and sleep in Jimmy Choos.  And when I fall on my ass from the 3-inch heels and grimace in pain screaming bloody mary from breaking both ankles in multiple locations, I can continue to write in a wheelchair.
  5. Repression.  Like any good Asian-American, repression is the greatest therapy.  It doesn’t cost you a cent; you don’t need to take time out to hash over feelings with a shrink; and the occasional flashbacks of reality only temporarily make you want to off yourself.  Hip hip hooray for repression!
  6. Tina Fey.  Hey, do you think one of Oprah’s favorite things this year is Tina Fey?  Holy crap!  I need to get tickets to her show!

Discover me, Tina Fey!

Leave a comment

Filed under Plea to Tina Fey, Television

Why Do Young People Flock to Obama?

As November 4th nears, I present to you one reason why young people flock to support Senator Obama:  He is in touch with the interests of the youth.

Case in Point No. 1:  The infamous “Fist Bump,” which, in this writer’s view, is simply a hipper way of giving the now archaic “high-five.”  Is “hipper” a cool word?  I’m too old to know.  In examining this picture, one can see how this fist bump is completely genuine — note that Senator Obama and the First Lady to Be are looking each other directly in the eyes, indicating that the two have been bumping fists for quite some time and have synchronized the critical timing and knuckle placement of the bump.  Imagine Johnny Mac bumping fists with Cindy McPill — call the doctor because I hear some bones breaking!

Case in Point No. 2:  Dusting dirt off his shoulders.  Nothing demonstrates a person’s determination and resilience than dusting dirt off your shoulders.  It’s one thing to say that Johnny Mac and the Moron’s campaign of lies will not stop you in your tracks — but to the younger generation, a couple simple swipes off the shoulder will more than suffice to convey those words.

Case in Point No. 3:  The Dance.  Barack Obama is not afraid to have a dance party — with the whole world watching.  Having watched Obama dance, I’m pretty confident he has no formal training.  As an avid follower of dance shows like SYTYCD and DWTS, Obama’s moves are a bit elementary.  He combines a mild sway with a gentle crossing of his arms.  Not too much going on there, but endearing to the youth of America — many of whom are also not blessed with the gyrating hips of Justin Timberlake.  I mean, for every Justin, there’s got to be 1,000 Jonathan Knights.  Michelle Obama, on the other hand — that lady looks like she’s got some moves.

To end, a brief lesson in logic — All (well, most) young people love Obama.  I am young (sort of).  I love Obama!

2 Comments

Filed under I Heart Reality TV, Personal Pontification, SYTYCD

Song of the Week – I Voted!

In honor of my absentee vote this morning, this week’s song is “In the Waiting Line” by Zero 7.

Wait in line
Till your time
Ticking clock
Everyone stop

Everyone’s saying different things to me
Different things to me
Everyone’s saying different things to me
Different things to me

Do you believe
In what you see
There doesn’t seem to be anybody else who agrees with me

Do you believe
In what you see
Motionless wheel
Nothing is real
Wasting my time
In the waiting line
Do you believe in
What you see

Nine to five
Living lies
Everyday
Stealing time
Everyone’s taking everything they can
Everything they can
Everyone’s taking everything they can
Everything they can

Do you believe
In what you feel
It doesn’t seem to be anybody else who agrees with me

Do you believe
In what you see
Motionless wheel
Nothing is real
Wasting my time
In the waiting line
Do you believe
In what you see

And I’ll shout and I’ll scream
But I’d rather not be seen
And I’ll hide away for another day

Do you believe
In what you see
Motionless wheel
Nothing is real
Wasting my time
In the waiting line
Do you believe
In what you see

Everyone’s saying different things to me
Different things to me
Different things to me
Different things to me
Different things to me
Everyone’s taking everything they can
Everything they can

I waited in line today for a little over a half hour to vote.  To meet Virginia election requirements, I covered up the Obama buttons on my backpack with my jacket.  Waiting in line kind of sucked, but it did make me think that November 4 could be a serious pain in the ass for voting.  I’m imagining lines extending out the door and into the freezing fall air.  But, c’mon people — especially if you’re in a battleground state, think of how important it is for you to be able to have your voice be heard.  If that doesn’t work, think of something else you’d be willing to stay out in the cold for — think of November 4 as Black Friday and you’re waiting in line to get a $49 Blu-Ray player.  Or think of November 4 as the Super Bowl and you have a coveted 50-yard line ticket.  Or think of November 4 as the day you attend a Meet and Greet with Jonathan Knight or Justin Timberlake or Milo Ventimiglia or [insert your unhealthy infatuation].  Or think of November 4 as the day you meet Tina Fey and finally tell her in person that you would like to be discovered and whisked away from the doldrums of your professional legal career to enter the exciting world of television writing and comedy (Discover me, Tina Fey!).  I digress.  The point is, there must be something you’d wait in line for.  If exercising your right to vote is not sufficient incentive, then trick yourself into thinking of something else.

Unless you’re voting for Johnny Mac and the Moron.  In that case, waiting in line sucks.  And seriously, is your one vote going to count?  Go home and take the day off!

Leave a comment

Filed under Plea to Tina Fey, Song of the Week

Happy Birthday RC!

Today, RC joins the nearing-twenty-ten club.  In celebration of this joyous event, I present to you my one and only Jonathan Knight, singing the New Kids version of Happy Birthday.  I wonder if Jon was drugged during the recording of this song, given his disdain for the spotlight?  I don’t care.  Jon is singing to me (and to RC)!

Leave a comment

Filed under Life

Song of the Week – A Blast From the Past

For this week’s song, I have chosen “Cover Girl,” by the New Kids on the Block.  As always, lyrics were pulled from LyricWiki:

I get up in the morning and I see your face, girl
You’re looking so good, everything’s in place
Don’t you know I could never leave your side girl
Won’t you stay here with me and be my bride?

Don’t you your my kind, your just what i like
Girl you’re everything, don’t you know you’re alright
The only girl I’ve always needed for so long

Chorus:
Oh, oh-oh, she’s my cover girl
Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
Oh, oh-oh, she’s my cover girl
Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

When I look through the pages of a magazine
Still, your pretty face is the prettiest I’ve seen
Don’t you know I only want to be with you
No other girl could make me feel the way you do
You’re my everything

(Repeat Chorus twice)

It’s alright
Oh, yeah, it’s out of sight
Let me say it’s alright
Ah, yeah!

Don’t you know I only want to be with you
No other girl could make me feel the way you do
You’re my everything

If you watch this video (go ahead and watch, I won’t tell), go ahead and laugh.  Giggle at Donnie’s torn-up jeans; chuckle at Jon’s bright orange shirt; and keel over at Danny’s pimp tail.  But don’t laugh at me.  I watch this video and reminisce of better days.  Back when this video was all the rage, my biggest concern was beating the other girls at jacks and beating the boys at tetherball.  Or getting new pairs of aerobic socks, because the elasticity on my old socks had withered due to me rolling my jeans into my socks.  Or carrying a keychain with 1 key and 5 chains with various pictures of Jonathan Knight and the rest of the New Kids.  Or believing my Jonathan was straight and would whisk me away despite protests of pedophilia.

Leave a comment

Filed under Fashion, Musical Obsessions, Song of the Week

Grown Men

I was listening to New Kids on my iPod, and realized that I needed to post a photograph of my first love, Jonathan Knight.  My 9-year old me thanks future me for future me’s technological capabilities.

Photo from flickr.com/photos/nkotbofficial

I’m going to go home, retrieve the 10-inch Jonathan button I purchased at the concert, and dance to “Tonight,” replacing all mentions of “Tonight” with “Jon Knight.”  Why?  Because IFHMMFJ and I need something to look forward to.

Leave a comment

Filed under Legal Woes, Life, Musical Obsessions