Tag Archives: justin timberlake

An Interruption in My Pleas to Tina Fey

In this break from my pleas, please enjoy Justin Timberlake singing with Al Green.  I heart formalwear and the people who may be found inside such formalwear.

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Filed under Musical Obsessions

The All-Inclusive GOP

I’m a bit delayed due to the holidays, but I suppose now is as good a time as any to impart my thoughts on Chip Saltsman’s idea of a chuckle.  For those who don’t know (perhaps you have been buried under a Christmas tree with 3 pounds of fruitcake lodged in your bowels causing immobility), Saltsman is a candidate for Chairman of the Republican National Committee.  For shits and giggles, Saltsman sent around a CD to his fellow GOP’ers this year, wishing them good tidings and cheer, a ticket to heaven, and a song entitled, “Barack the Magic Negro,” sung to the tune of “Puff the Magic Dragon.”

Amazingly enough, most of the rest of the GOP leadership is up in arms over this song.  However, there are still quite a few in the party’s leadership decrying the outcry, stating that the song is merely a parody, and people need to get over it.  So, today, I’d like to examine what constitutes as appropriate parody and what constitutes bigoted offensive bastardly behavior.

Appropriate Parody — (1) Tina Fey’s impression of Sarah Palin, highlighting her stupidity; (2) Justin Timberlake’s impression of Barry Gibs, highlighting the high pitch of his voice; (3) Weird Al.

Bigoted, Offensive, Bastardly Behavior — (1) making light of the Holocaust and/or Hitler; (2) making light of 9/11; (3) calling someone a “magic Negro.”

After being trounced in this year’s elections, you’d think that the GOP would get the hint that they need to, at the very least, hide the fact that the party’s leadership includes a hell of a lot of bigoted assholes.  I’m not saying all the leadership — I’m sure there are plenty of GOP leaders who simply espouse the principles of small government etc.  But Saltsman, a candidate for Chairman of the RNC, represents what millions have known about the GOP — all-inclusive my ass.

Actually, on second though, the GOP is quite inclusive.  I mean, how the hell is the party supposed to thrive without taking advantage of those less fortunate and keeping them in a state of economic and social dependence such that the party can revert the country back to a state of slavery?  Seriously.  The country was better back then.  Rich whites didn’t have to do anything except make sure that the poor blacks were appropriately controlled to prevent them from running amok.  Yeah, super super inclusive.

To end this post, I have one thing to say to good ol’ Chip.  And I’m not joking when I say this.  This is not a parody.  It’s not meant in good fun — Piss off.

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Filed under Personal Pontification, WTF?

My Love

Yeah yeah, it’s pretty shocking that I haven’t posted this video yet.  I’ve been waiting for Hulu or NBC to finally put the video online, but that wait was in vain, likely due to the “graphic” nature of this video.  I present to you yet another one of my musical, unhealthy obsessions:  Justin Timberlake.  In a leotard.  In heels.

My JT is damn confident in his masculinity.  And he sure as hell rocks that leotard.  He also works heels a hell of a lot better than me.  JT – can you teach me how to work them heels?

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Filed under Musical Obsessions, Television

30 Rock: Believe in the Stars

In last week’s episode of 30 Rock, Liz Lemon met Oprah Winfrey, which was an awesome opportunity.  I’d also like to take the opportunity to make yet another plea to Tina Fey.  Yo Tina.  In case you’re reading, here are a few of my favorite things.  None of these will appear in any rider to any contract for my services, so don’t worry about these before contacting me to join the writing cast.  Wink Wink.

  1. Air purifier.  Since I am allergic to everything indoors and out, I love my air purifier.  It’s called the Rabbit, but it’s not the Rabbit that you’re thinking of.  It makes me happy, but not like that Rabbit.  You pervert.
  2. Peach Cobbler.  I love peach cobbler.  And this is an independent love and has nothing to do with the fact that Justin Timberlake’s favorite dessert is his grandmother’s peach cobbler.  I loved peach cobbler first.  So there.
  3. Jonathan Knight.  I really would only need him once a year to sing Happy Birthday to me.  To make it easier for him, I’d be fine with him sitting in a confined booth hooked up to a microphone such that he need not actually see anyone while he sings, lest he freaks out and messes up the words to my birthday song.
  4. Sneakers.  I love sneakers.  As someone who wore flip flops on her wedding day, I’m not terribly comfortable in heels.  They make my bum knee hurt, and my toes get all squished up front, causing blisters and damage to my toenails.  Don’t get me wrong though.  If wearing heels will allow me to become a part of your crew, sign me up.  I’ll eat and sleep in Jimmy Choos.  And when I fall on my ass from the 3-inch heels and grimace in pain screaming bloody mary from breaking both ankles in multiple locations, I can continue to write in a wheelchair.
  5. Repression.  Like any good Asian-American, repression is the greatest therapy.  It doesn’t cost you a cent; you don’t need to take time out to hash over feelings with a shrink; and the occasional flashbacks of reality only temporarily make you want to off yourself.  Hip hip hooray for repression!
  6. Tina Fey.  Hey, do you think one of Oprah’s favorite things this year is Tina Fey?  Holy crap!  I need to get tickets to her show!

Discover me, Tina Fey!

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Filed under Plea to Tina Fey, Television

DWTS — The Tragedy of the Group Hip Hop

Monday’s group hip hop routine was just laugh out loud hysterical.  I’ve watched it several times in glee — giggling at Lance’s faux-mullet, chuckling at that kid from Hannah Montana go left when he was supposed to go right, and downright falling over at that soap opera person’s pathetic half-step behind attempts to follow the crew.  If you’re not a fan of DWTS, I understand.  But this video is just hilarious:

Out of all the professional dancers, I have to say that Lacey kicked ass — which is no surprise given her tenure at SYTYCD.  Here are Lacey and Kameron dancing hip hop well (go to 2:30 for the good stuff).

And here are my favorite Lacey performances:

For years, I’ve had a secret dream of becoming a backup dancer for a major urban recording artist.  I realize that I have a bum knee; that I’m not flexible; that I am uncomfortable in skanky clothing; and that I just can’t really dance.  My resume would be slim, to say the least.  But if Sarah Palin can be VP, I can surely dance backup for Justin Timberlake.  Thank you Governor Palin for keeping my hope alive!

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Filed under I Heart Reality TV, SYTYCD, Television

Why Do Young People Flock to Obama?

As November 4th nears, I present to you one reason why young people flock to support Senator Obama:  He is in touch with the interests of the youth.

Case in Point No. 1:  The infamous “Fist Bump,” which, in this writer’s view, is simply a hipper way of giving the now archaic “high-five.”  Is “hipper” a cool word?  I’m too old to know.  In examining this picture, one can see how this fist bump is completely genuine — note that Senator Obama and the First Lady to Be are looking each other directly in the eyes, indicating that the two have been bumping fists for quite some time and have synchronized the critical timing and knuckle placement of the bump.  Imagine Johnny Mac bumping fists with Cindy McPill — call the doctor because I hear some bones breaking!

Case in Point No. 2:  Dusting dirt off his shoulders.  Nothing demonstrates a person’s determination and resilience than dusting dirt off your shoulders.  It’s one thing to say that Johnny Mac and the Moron’s campaign of lies will not stop you in your tracks — but to the younger generation, a couple simple swipes off the shoulder will more than suffice to convey those words.

Case in Point No. 3:  The Dance.  Barack Obama is not afraid to have a dance party — with the whole world watching.  Having watched Obama dance, I’m pretty confident he has no formal training.  As an avid follower of dance shows like SYTYCD and DWTS, Obama’s moves are a bit elementary.  He combines a mild sway with a gentle crossing of his arms.  Not too much going on there, but endearing to the youth of America — many of whom are also not blessed with the gyrating hips of Justin Timberlake.  I mean, for every Justin, there’s got to be 1,000 Jonathan Knights.  Michelle Obama, on the other hand — that lady looks like she’s got some moves.

To end, a brief lesson in logic — All (well, most) young people love Obama.  I am young (sort of).  I love Obama!

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Filed under I Heart Reality TV, Personal Pontification, SYTYCD

Song of the Week – I Voted!

In honor of my absentee vote this morning, this week’s song is “In the Waiting Line” by Zero 7.

Wait in line
Till your time
Ticking clock
Everyone stop

Everyone’s saying different things to me
Different things to me
Everyone’s saying different things to me
Different things to me

Do you believe
In what you see
There doesn’t seem to be anybody else who agrees with me

Do you believe
In what you see
Motionless wheel
Nothing is real
Wasting my time
In the waiting line
Do you believe in
What you see

Nine to five
Living lies
Everyday
Stealing time
Everyone’s taking everything they can
Everything they can
Everyone’s taking everything they can
Everything they can

Do you believe
In what you feel
It doesn’t seem to be anybody else who agrees with me

Do you believe
In what you see
Motionless wheel
Nothing is real
Wasting my time
In the waiting line
Do you believe
In what you see

And I’ll shout and I’ll scream
But I’d rather not be seen
And I’ll hide away for another day

Do you believe
In what you see
Motionless wheel
Nothing is real
Wasting my time
In the waiting line
Do you believe
In what you see

Everyone’s saying different things to me
Different things to me
Different things to me
Different things to me
Different things to me
Everyone’s taking everything they can
Everything they can

I waited in line today for a little over a half hour to vote.  To meet Virginia election requirements, I covered up the Obama buttons on my backpack with my jacket.  Waiting in line kind of sucked, but it did make me think that November 4 could be a serious pain in the ass for voting.  I’m imagining lines extending out the door and into the freezing fall air.  But, c’mon people — especially if you’re in a battleground state, think of how important it is for you to be able to have your voice be heard.  If that doesn’t work, think of something else you’d be willing to stay out in the cold for — think of November 4 as Black Friday and you’re waiting in line to get a $49 Blu-Ray player.  Or think of November 4 as the Super Bowl and you have a coveted 50-yard line ticket.  Or think of November 4 as the day you attend a Meet and Greet with Jonathan Knight or Justin Timberlake or Milo Ventimiglia or [insert your unhealthy infatuation].  Or think of November 4 as the day you meet Tina Fey and finally tell her in person that you would like to be discovered and whisked away from the doldrums of your professional legal career to enter the exciting world of television writing and comedy (Discover me, Tina Fey!).  I digress.  The point is, there must be something you’d wait in line for.  If exercising your right to vote is not sufficient incentive, then trick yourself into thinking of something else.

Unless you’re voting for Johnny Mac and the Moron.  In that case, waiting in line sucks.  And seriously, is your one vote going to count?  Go home and take the day off!

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Filed under Plea to Tina Fey, Song of the Week