Tag Archives: new kids

Jonathan Looks Frightened

I missed this live performance last night, causing me to question my devotion to my Jonathan.  Forgive me Jon, for I was very much involved in a game of Wii bowling and the season finale of True Blood.  In my path to self-redemption, I immediately jumped on YouTube this morning to locate the highest quality video of the performance.

My Jonathan is so reliably uncomfortable on stage.  Look at how squeamish he appears on stage.  Notice how he watches the other “kids” for dance cues.  Jon, if you’d like, I will be happy to learn all the dance moves for this year’s tour and accompany you across the country and the world to assist you in your dance endeavors.  If you so grant me that privilege, you will have simultaneously made my 4th grade dreams manifest in all their glory.  My tube socks and scrunchie thank you in advance.

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Filed under Musical Obsessions, Television

Happy Birthday RC!

Today, RC joins the nearing-twenty-ten club.  In celebration of this joyous event, I present to you my one and only Jonathan Knight, singing the New Kids version of Happy Birthday.  I wonder if Jon was drugged during the recording of this song, given his disdain for the spotlight?  I don’t care.  Jon is singing to me (and to RC)!

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Song of the Week – A Blast From the Past

For this week’s song, I have chosen “Cover Girl,” by the New Kids on the Block.  As always, lyrics were pulled from LyricWiki:

I get up in the morning and I see your face, girl
You’re looking so good, everything’s in place
Don’t you know I could never leave your side girl
Won’t you stay here with me and be my bride?

Don’t you your my kind, your just what i like
Girl you’re everything, don’t you know you’re alright
The only girl I’ve always needed for so long

Chorus:
Oh, oh-oh, she’s my cover girl
Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
Oh, oh-oh, she’s my cover girl
Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

When I look through the pages of a magazine
Still, your pretty face is the prettiest I’ve seen
Don’t you know I only want to be with you
No other girl could make me feel the way you do
You’re my everything

(Repeat Chorus twice)

It’s alright
Oh, yeah, it’s out of sight
Let me say it’s alright
Ah, yeah!

Don’t you know I only want to be with you
No other girl could make me feel the way you do
You’re my everything

If you watch this video (go ahead and watch, I won’t tell), go ahead and laugh.  Giggle at Donnie’s torn-up jeans; chuckle at Jon’s bright orange shirt; and keel over at Danny’s pimp tail.  But don’t laugh at me.  I watch this video and reminisce of better days.  Back when this video was all the rage, my biggest concern was beating the other girls at jacks and beating the boys at tetherball.  Or getting new pairs of aerobic socks, because the elasticity on my old socks had withered due to me rolling my jeans into my socks.  Or carrying a keychain with 1 key and 5 chains with various pictures of Jonathan Knight and the rest of the New Kids.  Or believing my Jonathan was straight and would whisk me away despite protests of pedophilia.

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Filed under Fashion, Musical Obsessions, Song of the Week

Grown Men

I was listening to New Kids on my iPod, and realized that I needed to post a photograph of my first love, Jonathan Knight.  My 9-year old me thanks future me for future me’s technological capabilities.

Photo from flickr.com/photos/nkotbofficial

I’m going to go home, retrieve the 10-inch Jonathan button I purchased at the concert, and dance to “Tonight,” replacing all mentions of “Tonight” with “Jon Knight.”  Why?  Because IFHMMFJ and I need something to look forward to.

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Filed under Legal Woes, Life, Musical Obsessions

Jonathan Knight is an Obama Supporter

I saw my first love and rewrote 4th grade history during the past week.  Having been denied the excitement of the New Kids on the Block during my years as a young and impressionable elementary school girl, I jumped at the opportunity to permanently rewrite history when the New Kids embarked on their reunion tour.  During the concerts (yes, I went to more than one), I snapped multiple pictures of my favorite New Kid, Jonathan Knight.  During my childhood, I was a bit of an oddball in desiring to be Jon’s “Cover Girl” and I felt that I would be loving Jon forever.  To add to my love for Jon, take a look at this pic I snapped:

That skanky beyotch next to him is Lady Gaga.  Take a look at Jon’s shirt though.  I have to say, I heart him even more.  I realize that he’s gay.  I realize that he had crippling anxiety disorder and probably still does.  I realize that it’s possible his microphone has never been turned on.  I do not care.  Jon, if you can hear me.  I heart Obama.  You heart Obama.  Therefore you heart me?  Be still my heart.

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I’ve Vetted __ More than Johnny Mac Vetted Sarah Palin

It has become manifestly obvious that Johnny Mac didn’t have much of a chance to vet his veep choice. From the attempted firing of a librarian to her speech at an Alaskan Independence Party meeting to her baby girl/baby mama and the redneck boyfriend to the earmarked funds scandal, Johnny Mac must have woken up recently and thought to himself, “Shit. WTF?”

McCain met with Palin once. Seriously people. Once. Let’s examine the things I’ve spent more time vetting:

1. My husband. And I only have to live and procreate with him. As part of the hubby-selection process, I vetted several other candidates. Jonathan Knight was rumored to be gay, so he was out. Justin Timberlake traveled too much for my taste, so he was out. Michael Vartan wanted to live in Canada so that was out (who knew I would want to live there during the Dubya years!!). The point is, I spent years vetting all these choices before arriving at the selection of my hot hubby.

2. My car. I must have researched vehicles for months. From emissions to horsepower to acceleration to paint colors to optional trims, I vetted the hell out of that shit. And I only have to drive that.

3. My underwear. As a frugal and conscious shopper, I tried undies from Vicky’s, Costco, department stores, women’s apparel shops, and Target. I tested the elasticity of the waist bands, the quality of the fabric, and the sagginess of the booty area.  Lots of trial and error led to my current choice of undies.  And that only covers my ass.

4. My toilet paper. Before arriving at my choice of toilet paper, I vetted several different brands, including name brands and store brands. I tried them when I peed, I tried them when I pooped, I blew my nose with them, I wiped my face with them. Months of empirical research led me to my current choice. McCain met Palin once. I’ve met Charmin many times. Palin might become President. Charmin only gets the benefit of being in contact with my ass.

So I know what all you critics will say–Johnny Mac had a team who vetted Palin.  He didn’t need to personally vet her because his GOP investigative team did the task for him.  Well, I say this to you.  Although other people’s opinions count, they absolutely do not suffice as a replacement for my personal belief and recommendation.  Other people think a gas-guzzler like the Hummer is a great vehicle–not for me.  Other people may like Angel Soft and Quilted brands over Charmin–not for my booty.  The point is–if Johnny Mac was such a Maverick, wouldn’t he have vetted Palin himself?  Wouldn’t he have wanted to determine, for himself, his chosen running mate, an individual who by actuarial standards, would have a pretty decent chance of becoming President should the McCain/Palin ticket prevail?

So my conclusion?  I’ve spent more time investigating the thing that wipes my ass than McCain investigated Palin.  Perhaps that says more about my obsessive personality.  Whatever it means, it sure scares the crap out of me.  Pun intended, but terrified all the same.

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Filed under WTF?

An Exciting Rumor

Lance Bass of NSYNC has spoken out about the possibility of a reunion.  First, the New Kids got back together and made my fourth grade dreams come true.  Now, NSYNC and all their gyrating goodness may return to make my college dreams come true.  I still remember when they swept into my life.  I was a naive freshman in college, fresh from the safety net of high school and poised to embark on the journey that would become my life.  However, that journey was thwarted by the entry of a new obsession.  When I first watched NSYNC ‘N the Mix, I knew that my life would change.  That my schedule would have to be redirected to ensure that I could witness every live event; every television interview; every hosting appearance.  I watched JT’s hair morph from curly blonde threads to naturally short to ‘fro and to shaven.  I learned each dance, pumping my fists to Bye Bye Bye and throwing my arms out to I Just Wanna Be With You.

Query on life–can I handle two boy band obsessions at once?!!?

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