Johnny Mac is appearing for the fight tonight! Despite the earlier proclamation that McCain would not be engaging in the first debate, Johnny Mac has changed his mind and will be heading to Mississippi to be tarred and feathered! I asked a top Vegas odd-maker what he thought of the news:
Me: What do you put McCain’s odds at tonight?
Bookie: The old man? Sheeiiit, he’s barely got his wits about him. I’ve got him at 50:1 odds. With an asterisk.
Me: An asterisk? What does that mean?
Bookie: Well, it’s 50:1, but with the stipulation that winnings will have to be returned if McCain is able to transform his likely trouncing into a positive.
Me: I’m sorry, come again?
Bookie: Dude. He’s a Maverick. When a Maverick fails, even horribly, people love it man. People eat it up. They’ll be like, dude Billy Joe! McCain got the shit knocked out of him! He’s a fighter man, he’s a fighter. Then everybody wants to see him fight again. Everybody wants to see him get up. If that happens, man, the asterisk comes in. Gimme my fuckin money.
Me: Umm. Yeah, I’m not sure if I want to make that bet then.
Bookie: You sure? Because if he gets knocked down and dies tonight, I give you a 100:1 return.
Me: You serious? I’m in!
Always one to join in the fun, I also asked Governor Palin for her thoughts about tonight’s debate.
Me: Governor Palin, how do you think Senator McCain will perform tonight?
Palin: He’s a Maverick!
Me: Yes, but how do you think he’ll perform?
Palin: Like a Maverick!
Me: Ok. With the recent economic turmoil, do you think that Senator McCain has sufficiently prepared himself for tonight’s debate?
Palin: He has prepared himself like the Maverick he is!
Me: How so? Can you provide me with any specific examples?
Palin: Well, I can’t think of a better example than the fact that he’s a Maverick!
Me: Alright. Governor, your debate is also rapidly coming up. How have you prepared for your debate with Senator Biden?
Palin: Well, I’m a Washington outsider. I’m already prepared. And I spent a good part of today staring out my window toward Russia. I’m comin’ to get ya Putin!
Me: Ok. Well good luck to you!
Palin: Thank you. I have to head back to my home now in Alaska. Nothing like a little oceanic osmosis to get even more foreign policy experience!